Mares Ocultos is an ongoing series of experimental compositions that investigate the heteronormative construct through a series of interviews conducted with subjects who identify as cis heterosexual men. Each piece introduces visual research centering on queer histories, as well as interview audio, to create the foundations for experimental scores to be interpreted by different ensembles. As the global conversation about gender and identity expands, this research-oriented project is a forum for these rare exchanges to take place, and each documented interview serves as the basis for a chamber music composition.

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I began developing Mares Ocultos in December 2022, during a week-long artist’s residency at Institute for Contemporary Art at Virginia Commonwealth University, as part of their Test Patterns series. During this time, I researched the local queer history of Richmond, focusing on the hidden culture of gay cruising in certain common areas of the city.

 

Given my perspective as a visitor, I wanted to work collaboratively with local Richmond residents to learn more about the nature of this type of subculture, and the efforts by city and county entities to obliterate all traces of its existence. One of the citizens in Richmond with whom I worked was a local baker named Evrim. Upon learning through the ICA of an open call to interview men who identified as cis male heterosexual, Evrim reached out to us and showed great interest in participating. One afternoon, we had a light-hearted but stimulating Zoom conversation set into motion by my interview questions (How do you identify? When did you know you were straight? How do you define straightness for yourself? etc.). I was pleased with how mutually positive the whole interview experience turned out to be.

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The project premiered at the ICA @ VCU in Richmond, VA on December 9, 2022, as part of the Test Pattern series.

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I identify as trans femme. My trajectory has sparked a curiosity in me; a fascination with the nature of identity and the societal systems built around it. As I am outside of the gender binary, I have grown accustomed to frequently being asked to explain my identity. I have often wondered why cis men who identify as “straight” are rarely ever the subjects of these queries.

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Mares Ocultos draws inspiration from the short film version of Chase Joynt’s “Framing Agnes”, which presented a series of never-before-publicized UCLA gender study interviews from the 1960’s in the form of a talk show, featuring all transgender actors. It was refreshing to witness our community take back these documents to underline the invasiveness of the types of questions the cis male doctors would ask. For decades, our communities have fought tirelessly to be seen for who we are, and not as exceptions to the laws of nature. We have consistently posed questions: Why are we the curiosities? Why are we the anomalies?

 

An essential aspect of Mares Ocultos is to provide a friendly, respectful opportunity for men to speak confidently and freely about the nuances of their identities and sexualities, and perhaps mutually gain a broader understanding of privilege and power dynamics. The idea of presenting each recorded interview as a piece of music serves to challenge common expectations of chamber music with complex and engaging work that engages with people's emotions while simultaneously stimulating urgent conversations.

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Each composition within Mares Ocultos is divided into three movements. The first movement uses visual documentation compiled from my research of local public areas known for being gay cruising grounds. This documentation is projected onto a large screen during the performance, to accompany a series of conductive instructions for the musicians of the ensemble. The second movement is an improvised piece for voice and musicians: a ritual of queer liberation, which serves as a bridge to the third movement, which utilizes the recorded interview, along with projected subtitles, and similar instructional scores as the first movement.

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A performance of Mares Ocultos (subject "Roger") took place on June 21, 2024 at Grand Performances in Los Angeles.